A Bump in the Building Process

12122781_10153182667147467_5860218688400431935_nThinking about the building process of our new home, I can’t help but reflect on the applicable life lessons and challenges that have crept up.

For example, the unexpected bump that shakes your confidence.

Things have been going along in a predictable, not-very-exciting way. A few delays in the actual construction here and there, but there’s been steady progress overall. All of the paperwork has been submitted and reviewed (or so we thought.) A phone call in the morning assuring us that everything was great. A phone call later that afternoon about a detail that might affect EVERYTHING…WHAT?!? Nothing has changed. We didn’t have another child or open seven new accounts since all of the paperwork was filled out. How did a detail suddenly change things???

Blame it on inexperience or the sheer amount of personal situations that have unfortunately happened to this person in the last several months. The reasons for the delays in returning our phone calls were due to emergencies. And we understood. There were several of them; not sure what the circumstances were, but we accepted that they were dire situations. Except that it was affecting our confidence in the professionalism and attentiveness of this person.

The most recent situation was a house burning down of someone who works alongside this person. A tragedy for sure. We sent our heartfelt condolences when once again a delay was explained by this happening.

But why this would affect us? (I mean outside of a human-to-human level of feeling awful that something like this happened to someone else and hoping that they recover from this quickly – that the insurance goes through speedily and that they have all of their immediate needs taken care of…)

Outside of the business aspect of the relationship mentioned above, this type of scenario plays out in many other types of relationships. The friend that bails on you because a dramatic situation came up yet again. The family member who is notoriously unreliable, always with a handy excuse. Does this sound like someone you know?

There’s a balance in life. Things you take responsibility for and things that fall outside of your responsibility. Things you choose to get involved in and things you step away from. Things that bring peace to your heart and things that twist your gut. And when your gut gets twisted, it is IMPERATIVE that you listen to it. It’s not a lack of compassion when you choose to take a step back from a situation and/or person that robs your peace and feels unsteady. I think it’s wisdom to do so. Only from a place of stability can you wait for the confusion to clear up and assess the situation clearly. Then you can take the steps to help yourself as well as possibly benefit the person who is caught up in the turmoil/drama/challenge. I have had to do this in several personal relationships and now with this situation. So that, along with our house being settled, my heart is taken care of and not led on an emotional rollercoaster. Yet again.

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